On the sidebar, they post various random questions that other moms have raised over the past number of months. I stopped short when I read this headline, "Anyone else out there feel guilty about leaving your child to give birth (to an other child)?"
Wait, whaaaa??? This is a question that hasn't even entered my realm of possibilities, let alone be an actual reason for concern for me. And let me tell you what, I'm as guilt ridden as they come (many people have told me I'd make an excellent Catholic).
Then, I read on to choruses of sympathy from mothers identifying with the poster. Here's the post.
I'm quite attached to Ceci. I do miss her when she spends the night at grandma's, and I think of her often during the day while I'm working. However, I find it hard to believe that my guilt will be at the forefront of my mind when I'm mentally preparing to push a human head that's seemingly the size of a watermelon through a space the size of....well, something much smaller than a watermelon. Though I'll be more than happy to see Ceci afterward.
Guilt is a heavy burden. Moms are plagued with it in particular, myself not discluded. My work with moms has taught me that the women who feel guilty about anything concerning their children are often the ones who have little/no reason to feel that way.
I've often wondered if I'm missing some sort of "special mommy gene", and that its absence would cause me to not only never, ever ask this question of other women, but to actually crave time away from my child. The simple answer is: nope, I'm not.
I believe one of the most important lessons I'll teach my child is to have the courage to know herself, and more importantly, love herself. Time away gives me the opportunity to practice both of these so that I can model them to her. It's not only helpful, but necessary for a well-rounded, fully functional Suz. So...feeling guilty about leaving her to give birth? I don't think so. But kudos to you if you can carry around that amount of guilt without falling over.