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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Two-Year-Old Teacher

Warning: This is the cliche post that every blogger writes about the lessons they've learned from their children. So suck it.


My daughter turns two on Monday. FINALLY.

Just kidding, the time has actually flown right by. As you can see by my previous post, she's turned into quite the little screamer as of late. She's also proven herself to be quite a teacher. I've learned a lot from her in two short years. Ready? Here you go, peeps. Learn it, live it.


Lesson One: Silly is the best way to be.

I firmly believe this now, just check this guest post I wrote for Scary Mommy. Silly didn't come naturally to me. But now, I breakdance with the best of em. The day isn't complete without my daughter saying "Mommy silly!"



Lesson Two: It's ok to be yourself.

Cecilia doesn't know any other way to be. Neither does any other young child in the universe. Faking is a learned behavior. I've learned to unlearn it, but it's a daily battle for me. The most important thing I can model to my children is to be the most genuine version of myself as much as possible. It's the best gift you can give the world. Unless you're a selfish bitch, then by all means, fake it.



Lesson Three: STOP swearing so much.

She repeats everything I say, but especially the words she's not supposed to say. Honestly, I don't really care if my daughter swears, she doesn't understand what it means. However, it is potentially upsetting to other people, and I don't really feel like dealing with "the stare" from moms who say things like "Oh, snizzlestorks, I forgot my flippin grocery list at home."



Lesson Four: If you need to get somewhere, why not run?

Preferably with your arms flailing about like Phoebe in the Friends episode.



Lesson Five: You can fit approximately fifteen french fries in your mouth before you gag and puke.

Grossest lesson ever.



Lesson Six: If you want to get out of something, just scream your face off.

This is works for things like going to bed on time, eating nutritious food, and cleaning up.



Lesson Seven: You might have to try jumping for a few weeks before you actually get off the ground.

Her perseverance amazes me. She rarely gets discouraged, and she celebrates appropriately when she's figured out something new. Awesome.



Lesson Eight: Your birth control won't work if you're taking an antibiotic.

Best mistake of my life.
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